The first sexual awakening in the United States occurred in the 1960s. It was centered on how sexuality can be expressed outside of marriage. Taboo subjects, like having sex with several partners, having same-sex partners, and so forth, entered the mainstream. 

During that time, space was created around female liberation and the celebration of sex — not just for procreation or pleasing a man — but for our bodies, satisfaction, and pleasure. Though our behaviors and mindsets have continued to shift, much of the social conditioning surrounding sex, bodies, and female/femme pleasure have continued to prevail.

Just as it was once far-fetched to consider that exercise or diet might have an impact on our well-being, it’s still not widely accepted our sexuality has an effect on other aspects of our lives. 

It’s only through inner work that we can update our own physiology and nervous systems to reflect a new inner reality — one that isn’t limited by social conditioning — in which sexuality is empowering, celebratory, and in alignment with our truth.

With the help of holistic sex tools like breath, sound, movement, mindfulness, energy, and intention, you can rewire your nervous system and let go of patterns that are no longer serving you. These tools can be practiced with a partner or mastered on your own through the creation of a self-pleasure practice.

The way you get to experience your sexuality, whether you take time to do your pleasure practices, how you experience a state of orgasm and intimacy impacts how you show up in this world.

How you connect to others, how you connect to your body, and how you love yourself in every domain of your life. 

One way to connect use these tools with your sexuality is by having a pleasure practice. A pleasure practice is where you get to work with your sexuality and your erotic energy, and your pleasure in a conscious and intentional way.

A pleasure practice involves cultivating your sexuality and erotic energy with intention. It’s like a yoga or meditation practice but with the aim of nurturing your pleasure and sexuality. As you deepen your practice over time, your physiology and nervous system can evolve to better suit you. 

A pleasure practice can be fun, exploratory, sexy, or highly orgasmic. Sometimes it can also be healing, spiritual, and intentional. Using these tools, you can allow yourself to harness your pleasure, sexual confidence, and enjoyment. 

It’s like masturbation with intention. So instead of closing your eyes, using a vibrator, or leaning into a fantasy, you’re using your sexuality space in an intentional way for higher development, for growing yourself and nurturing your sexuality. 

Why is this powerful? 

Every time you masturbate, you are wiring your sexual experience. So if we never take the time to look at how we masturbate, then you continue to reinforce the same neural pathways over and over. 

Pleasure practices also remind you that you are the source of your sexual pleasure, rather than projecting that power onto a partner. Your sexual magnificence is yours; it’s not based on what your partner can do to or for you. 

A pleasure practice can give you the time, the space, and the opportunity to reconnect to this sacred and powerful part that is inside of you.

Some partners have the power to open up these alchemical pieces inside of you, of course, BUT remember that these pieces are YOURS! What happens over time is this chronic disempowerment where we begin to think or believe that “I can only have this mind-blowing ecstasy with this one partner. Or my orgasm is based on what my partner can do to me. Or my ecstasy is based on finding this incredible partner or being loved in the way that I desired.” 

Over time with a pleasure practice you start to realize, “Oh wait, I’m responsible for my turn-on, I’m the source of all this magnificence, and it's up to me to share that, or it's up to me to find a partner that can meet me and my radiance and support my magnificence.” 

It’s not the partner who unlocks all your sexual magnificence; it’s YOU who gets to unlock all of that. You have the key to this power.

six holistic sex tools for a Holistic Self-Pleasure Practice:

Breath

Breath activates energy. Deeper, more conscious breathing helps you become more aware of your body and generate a stronger internal connection. 

It encourages you to slow down and notice what's going on inside of you around you. It has the ability to help you relax and surrender. Breath can increase your sense of desire and help you become more in touch with your body.

Sound

This may seem simple, but so many of us struggle to use our voices and express our pleasure. Your vagus nerve is highly connected to your vocal cords. 

Using sound — especially from deep in the belly — activates the vagus nerve, fostering a mind-body connection that can amplify your experience and deepen relaxation. Sounding invites a vibrational field that can become a gateway to unlocking multiple and full-body orgasms. 

Movement

Tap into the kinds of movement that feel most natural to your body. Once you’re able to allow your body to move in response to pleasurable sensations, your sex life is likely to improve. By bringing awareness to your movement, you can create a deep connection to your body — one that’s quite powerful.

Movements that involve squeezing and releasing, like pilates or aerobics, can help release tension from your sacrum and activate the vagina. When you’re conscious about squeezing you can also be conscious about relaxing. 

Mindfulness

Mindfulness takes practice and involves being present in your emotions and bodily sensations. Bring focus to your body and center your mind on the present throughout your day-to-day. 

When in your self-pleasure practice or during sex, your mindfulness practice will allow you to draw deeper into your body’s experience — increasing and expanding your body’s capacity to hold pleasure.

Energy

In Tantric philosophy, everything is made of energy, and you have both energy and consciousness. When working with energy, you're also working with consciousness, and vice versa. By getting in touch with your senses and using the tools listed above, you can become more conscious of your energy and how it can be amplified. 

These tools have changed my experience of my own sexuality, allowing me to step fully into the most radiant and vibrant version of myself. They have helped me claim my erotic essence and taken me from painful and disconnected sex to more luscious, soul-nourishing experiences.

The more you practice with these tools, the deeper your connection with your sacred sexuality becomes elevated — enriching and enhancing every part of your life.