Let's Talk About Safe Sex and Birth Control Options

What is the sex education you wish you got growing up?

For me, the words I wish my mom told me were: "Sex is a natural part of life for some and to feel autonomy over your body and sex life, here are some things I'd like for you to know about safe sex."

Instead, all of the sex education I got was when she told me "Don't get pregnant!" But she didn't give me any guidance on how to help prevent that.

I know I can't turn back time and I also know that my mom didn't have the tools or knowledge I do now, but I could only imagine the feeling of empowerment and agency I would've had if someone said a little more than that to me as a young woman who had a desire to explore herself sexually and in relationship to others. I'm glad she didn't though because as a result, I empowered myself to learn more about my own sexual wellness and I was able to become the coach I am today.

Sexual empowerment is not just about knowing your body, your sexual preferences and desires, and stepping into your own agency. It's also knowing how to take control of your sexual health and safety. If you're not sure, that's OK, I have some tips for you.

Safe Sex Tips

1.  Know your birth control options -- options are expanding and there are many ways to help prevent pregnancy. Know your birth control options from pills to monthly injections, IUDs, and condoms! The options are expanding and there are so many ways to prevent unwanted pregnancy.Consider your lifestyle changes and what option is right for you! Have a Plan A, but also know there are options.You should always have a birth control plan A in place, but know that there is a Plan B if you need it.  Plan B emergency contraception is a backup option to be used after an instance of unprotected sex or birth control failure and should not be used as a form of regular birth control. In fact, Plan B helps prevent pregnancy before it starts after unprotected sex, like when you miss a pill, or the condom breaks. It works by temporarily delaying ovulation, or the release of an egg from the ovary. Plan B must be taken within 72 hours after unprotected sex or birth control failure - the sooner it’s taken, the better it works! It is not an abortion pill and it will not affect an existing pregnancy, nor will it impact a woman’s future fertility. I’ve personally never had to use Plan B, but as a woman its reassuring to know that there are options available for me in the event of birth control failure. Plan B can be purchased right off the shelf at all major retailers - no ID or Rx needed.To learn more head to my stories for your quick guide to safe sex and birth control! Always read the label.

2. Know your STI status -- have the messy conversations about STI with your sexual partner. It shows respect for your body AND there's nothing sexier than respect and consent. If you are sexually active or have been in the past, or if you have multiple sexual partners, get checked regularly for STIs. Some STIs do not cause significant symptoms and you don't want to be the one spreading germs.

3. Use protection every time! This advice probably sounds like a broken record, but use protection every single time! It's the best way to lower your risk of pregnancy and or an STI.

   Besides not having sex, the best way to prevent contracting an STI is to be a part of a long-term monogamous relationship. Where only you two are involved in sexual activities together. And still have the conversation about birth control and know your options.

4. Empower your YES and your NO - consent is super sexy and powerful! Consenting and asking for consent is all about your personal boundaries and respecting those of your partner. Be aware of what you are open to and feel safe to do in any sexual experience. Be honest with yourself and remember that consent can be reversible. You can change your mind any time, even if you're naked in bed. Be specific about you want to explore. Saying yes to one thing doesn't mean you've said yes to other things. Without consent, ANY sexual activity (including oral sex, genital touching, and vaginal or anal penetration) is sexual assault or rape.

5. Communication is key -- Communicating openly about your sexual histories, preferences, kinks, desires, and things you don't want to do is the key to having fun and safe sex! Along with consent, the next best sexiest thing is communication! Talk about the hard stuff. Get comfortable talking about sexual history, STIs, safe sex practices, playing with toys, and wants and desires. Sex is not always the easiest topic to bring up with a new partner or one you've been with for a while.  Get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Be proactive about these conversations. They get easier with practice.

How can I support you to have the healthy, fun, safe sex you desire? Comment below, let’s talk about it.