Embracing my sexuality wasn’t always easy for me - in fact, it was quite the opposite!

I am the daughter of immigrants, a first-gen Filipino-American who grew up in a family that was wildly uncomfortable with discussing anything related to sex, relationships, and/or money.

On top of that, I was also subjected to the cultural conditioning that many of us have become familiar with, a society that shames and blames women for embracing their bodies, personal power, and sensuality.

Growing up in an immigrant family, conversations around sex, relationships, mental and emotional wellness, and body image issues were never open for discussion. The lack of conversations created a lot of internalized confusion about what it meant to love my body and how to have healthy relationships and communicate.

Every part of your body has its own role in getting you ready for sex and experiencing orgasm, so it's important to know where all those parts are, what they do best, and how they work together to make you feel good.

Your body has thousands of erogenous zones or areas where stimulation can create pleasure. These can be on the outside surface of the body such as the nipples, inner thighs, and genitals, as well as inside the body such as the G-spot and A-spot. All these areas contain nerve endings that respond to different types of stimulation and can create pleasure. Knowing which areas are the most sensitive on your body can help you enjoy yourself more and find satisfaction.

When you have a good knowledge of which parts of your body are meant to make you feel good, it's easier to understand what turns you on (and off).

The better you know your body, the more you can control your sexual experiences. Knowing what feels good to you and communicating that with a partner can help you have a healthy, joyful, and empowered sex life (solo or partnered).

If you’re ready to dive deeper, let's talk about pleasure and anatomy!

I grew up in a society that was intensely gendered, including clothes and activities, among other things. Inside and outside of my home, binary notions of gender dictated what people could and couldn’t do.

We live in the San Francisco Bay Area where the environment is more progressive and school documents include non-binary checkboxes where students can indicate their preferred name, but this may not be the case in other areas.

As parents, we instinctively want to protect our kids from harm — especially if there’s a chance they might be “othered.” But the best thing to do is acknowledge their sovereignty and embrace gender diversity by offering support and holding space for your kids.

What I have come to understand though, is that sexual wellness to me isn’t just about the sex I am having or simply about pleasure. For me, it has to do with how I see myself as a human being, my ability to embrace and be empowered in enjoying my sexuality, accepting my body, the skin I live in, and the sense of truly owning my sexual actions.