I grew up in a society that was intensely gendered, including clothes and activities, among other things. Inside and outside of my home, binary notions of gender dictated what people could and couldn’t do.

We live in the San Francisco Bay Area where the environment is more progressive and school documents include non-binary checkboxes where students can indicate their preferred name, but this may not be the case in other areas.

As parents, we instinctively want to protect our kids from harm — especially if there’s a chance they might be “othered.” But the best thing to do is acknowledge their sovereignty and embrace gender diversity by offering support and holding space for your kids.

What I have come to understand though, is that sexual wellness to me isn’t just about the sex I am having or simply about pleasure. For me, it has to do with how I see myself as a human being, my ability to embrace and be empowered in enjoying my sexuality, accepting my body, the skin I live in, and the sense of truly owning my sexual actions.